One Son Is Trans, the Other Loves Trump. Our Family Lives the Divide

In the lead-up to the election, I encountered a conservative essay that stood out: Andrew Sullivan's "Why Trump May Be About to Stage the Biggest Comeback in U.S. History," published in The Times of London. Its perspective struck me as a refreshing departure from the more predictable, emotionally charged pieces on platforms like The Hill or HuffPost. However, sharing it with a friend revealed a divide in interpretation, prompting me to revisit the article.

The piece highlights a critical shift in American politics: the transition from identity-focused messaging to a class-centered narrative. Sullivan argued that while Biden and Harris targeted identity groups—women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and minorities—Trump’s appeal to the working class resonated more deeply, emphasizing economic recovery and individual prosperity.

This perspective struck a chord with me as a parent of two very different sons, each embodying the complexities of modern identity and political affiliation.

Noel: The Struggles of Identity and Validation

Our younger son, Noel, now 18, began his journey of self-discovery in middle school. He struggled with friendships, faced severe mental health challenges, and eventually came out as gay and later as transgender. Transitioning was not just about identity but also about navigating societal and familial acceptance. Therapists and clinicians advised us to validate his feelings as a cornerstone of his mental health, a process that was emotionally taxing yet essential for our family.

This experience illuminated a broader societal issue: the growing push for acceptance of diverse identities, which often clashes with more traditional worldviews. For many, particularly in working-class communities, such changes can feel alienating. As Sullivan noted, identity politics often struggles to resonate with those who prioritize survival over social evolution.

Gary: The Disconnected Young Voter

Our older son, Gary, represents another facet of modern America. At 21, he's a working-class young man who opted out of college, preferring hands-on work and a car-focused lifestyle. His political engagement is minimal, shaped more by social media humor and peer conversations than by in-depth knowledge.

Gary’s apathy and his casual remark, "Trump’s funny," encapsulate a broader trend among young white men disillusioned by both traditional politics and progressive narratives. His consumption of lifestyle-driven content creators and his distaste for “woke” rhetoric illustrate a growing cultural divide.

Bridging the Divide

These personal experiences underscore the challenge of uniting a fractured electorate. For Noel, politics is about systemic change and equality. For Gary, it’s a peripheral concern overshadowed by day-to-day struggles.

Sullivan’s argument that Trump successfully rebranded his campaign as a lifestyle choice resonates here. His populist appeal speaks to individuals like Gary, who feel overlooked by progressive agendas and alienated by rapid societal changes. Meanwhile, Noel’s principled leftism reflects a desire to dismantle and rebuild a system perceived as broken.

The Path Forward

As parents, we worry about both sons' futures—Gary’s financial stability and disengagement, and Noel’s navigation of a society still grappling with acceptance. These concerns mirror broader societal tensions: the balancing act between embracing progress and addressing the frustrations of those who feel left behind.

Sullivan’s analysis, combined with our family’s lived experience, reveals a stark truth: the next generation is deeply divided, not just politically but in their very approach to life. Healing this divide requires empathy, understanding, and policies that speak to both identity and class. Without this balance, the cycle of disconnection and polarization will only deepen.